Do not use your attorney like a therapist, counselor, or friend.
While you and your attorney very well may have a great working relationship, remember your attorney’s obligation is to serve your legal interests – his/her job is not to counsel you about your emotions and feelings. You’ll save a significant amount in legal fees if you can separate out those roles.
Court battles will not teach your soon-to-be ex a lesson.
Acting out of anger and spite isn’t going to solve anything, and if you go that route it will likely make your divorce costly and emotionally draining. There are extreme cases where heavy litigation is warranted, for example where parents are denied their rights to see their children, where child support is not paid, or a child’s health and welfare is at stake. But the majority of divorces concern people just not getting along anymore, perhaps angry with each other, someone may have cheated on the other, and they want to move on and start a new life – in cases like that, do yourself a favor and stay away from the drama and dirty tricks. You’ll get through the divorce process with less stress and less cost if you stay away from the mud slinging.
Make a realistic budget for your post-divorce self. If you are the spousal or child support payor, you do not want to commit to paying more than you can afford or is financially feasible given your employment and financial picture. If you are the spousal or child support payee, you need to determine what amount is needed from your ex to supplement your work income so that you can make ends meet. Take time to do these calculations, which will save you in the long run.
Do not lose your head. Breathe, think, plan, hire professionals and work with a budget. You can make good decisions no matter how bad things may seem right now.