Divorce often hits people where they are most vulnerable. Being rejected by your life partner can be utterly devastating.
For some people the first instinct after a spouse serves divorce papers is to go out and find a new lover. While nobody would deny the importance of a loving relationship, there are many reasons why starting a new intimate, emotional, or sexual relationship may not be advisable when a divorce is in the picture.
Most therapists will tell you it’s important to take time out for yourself first, find out who you are now that you are to be on your own before involving a new romantic partner in your life (especially during the high stress time of divorce litigation). This will ensure your next relationship has the ability to be successful because you’ve properly dealt with any residual baggage from your old one.
As well, your spouse may get jealous and angry at this seeming intruder and may seize on your newfound happiness to try to prove that this relationship is one but part of a pattern of infidelity that began long before he/she sued for divorce. As a result, he or she may explode into a fit of overly litigious conduct simply to annoy you, that otherwise may have not been undertaken, which consequently will cost you more time and money.
There is also the concern of how your children might react. Consider their feelings before introducing them to a new relationship.
No one is saying that you have to live the rest of your life as a hermit, but an ounce of self-reflection and pause may help you realize that being on your best behavior during the period of divorce settlement negotiations couldpay huge dividends in terms of being able to reach a settlement in a short timeframe that will be amenable to your present and future prospects.
Shelton-based Hirsch Legal, LLC is one of Connecticut’s well-known divorce and family law practices. We provide mediation and legal representation services to clients in New Haven and throughout Fairfield County. Whether you live in Milford, Bridgeport, Waterbury, or in one of our smaller localities, we are ready to provide you with the tools you need to settle your divorce and move on with your life as efficiently and cost effectively as possible.